Life in death
by gunner brat
Summary: This is a 100 word each paragraph drabble about an alternate universe where James dies but Lily and Harry live.


Disclaimer: I am not making money or own Harry potter.

Authors note: This is a drabble with 100 words each with a prompt to start it. I hope you like reading it.

Envy

His main sin in life was pride and lust but in death it was envy and anger. He could look at her but not touch. He could shout at the top of his lungs but not be heard. He knew she could sense him at times but was angry she couldn't see him. He was angry to the point of rage that in the state he was in he couldn't protect her. He could see the way the others moved around him, through him, and ignored him and he couldn't find it within himself to move out of the way.

Broken promises

He promised that he would never make her cry again. He wasn't a man that would go back on his words but he broke that promise far too many times in life. It was a promise shattered in death. He watched tear after tear fall as he knelt beside her begging and pleading for her not to cry. She didn't hear him and able to read her moods in life in death he knew them better than his own. He couldn't face those tears or the truth so he ran whenever he saw her mood change and sullenly avoided her.

Tears of joy

She looked as radiant in her wedding dress,like the time she gave him Harry, and he longed to see her shine like that for him again. He tried to tell her not to cry when he proposed but through the tears and laughter she they were tears of joy. He failed again on the day Harry was born concerned when he was worried over the amount of pain she was going through. He felt like the luckiest and only man in the world when their miracle came into this world. She never let him forget that he fainted though.

Birthdays

Birthdays were special to James. He celebrates his, his friends, his families and his wife's. He missed celebrating them with his friends and his family. He never got to see Harry's third. Though he saw Harry look closely at his direction and he felt he had been noticed the idea was shattered. Harry turned away staying quiet and when asked what he was looking at he shrugged. It was his first birthday deceased that made devastated him as Lily spent the night crying and at midnight lit a cupcake with a candle and blowing it out. He made the wish.

The Godfather

Despite being immature Sirius was a good man. The man was loyal to James even in death. The man too traumatized by the deaths refused to move on and coped by acting more immature. Lily and Harry changed that. Sirius stepped up becoming a father to his best friends son. Protecting Lily when she allowed it from societies vultures. He felt hate for the first time but it passed as he realized he couldn't be the one to do it. He was proud of Sirius but he was going to kill him for saying he wet the bed to Harry.

Scaring Harry

He saw the two get closer. They were avoiding each others gazes and looking when they thought the other wasn't looking. It was cute but James resented Sirius when they realized their feelings for each other. Time passed and they found themselves in bed together. He passed time in Harry's room stewing in a tornado of fury. He scared Harry to tears when the books at the top of his sons' book shelves fell and made enough noise to spook Harry. He stared in horror at the books with a panicked look. Harry was still too short to reach it.

Shadow

James became a shadow watching life go on without him. Scaring Harry was the turning point. He began to feel hate, envy, and anger more often. Harry called Sirius father. Lily, his beautiful lily, looked at Sirius like she used to look at him. He couldn't blame them for moving on- in fact he was proud of it. He just couldn't stop feeling angry for being ignored. It never occurred to him to look at the drawings closer and so he never saw the dark figure behind the three. He never heard Lily ask about it and Harry reply Papa.

Change

James never saw himself change in Harry's drawings. He was first a man with black hair with a halo and a kind smile. The years changed him as Harry's motor skills improved. The figure behind Harry's family improved as well becoming more detailed, stronger, and less pale. Then Harry found the figure changing. First the halo was lost and the face became angry, lost, or confused. Eventually the dark outline got thicker and the man angrier. Then it was a shadow figure behind them. Finally, Harry stopped drawing the shadow altogether. He was too afraid of it to draw him.

Adoption

The adoption of Harry James Potter into the Black family was a dark day for James and the happiest for Harry and his family. Lily became Sirius's wife. Harry became his blood heir by ritual. He now had the blood of two fathers. Sirius became regent of his family's estate. They all moved to the Black Manor. James existence, legacy was forgotten in his eyes. He couldn't hear Harry pester Lily and Sirius for more stories of James. He only saw Sirius and Lily together. He only knew that his son was Harry James Potter-Black on his birth certificate.

Light

James couldn't pinpoint when he went from guardian angel to monster. He scared Sirus's and Lily's child. He terrorized Harry to the point he wouldn't draw James at all in the occasional family drawings he still did. His hate turned inwards and he changed. Harry included him again simply saying that Papa was getting better and was probably going to leave for the sky soon. Lily and Sirius simply took it as a child's imagination. James took it as a sign he was getting better. One day before Harry would have gone to Hogwarts he became too light to stay.


End file.
